antigone_ks ([personal profile] antigone_ks) wrote2019-08-22 04:05 pm

You are old 2k19

Welcome to another year's You Are Old update. How old are you? Some of your freshmen were born after 9/11. So just ruminate on that for a while. Drink some rum. Smoke a bowl. Cry in the bathtub.

So what else was happening in 2001 that you'll try to make jokes about and get nothing but blank faces in return?

- Enron. They will definitely not get any reference to this. They stopped knowing who Ken Lay was at least by 2013.

- Genesis launched!

- I guess there were a bunch of shark attacks? I didn't even remember that. I am a shark apologist.

- Tim McVeigh was executed. My students don't know his name. They might know the Oklahoma City Bombing. To reiterate, these are students in Oklahoma.

- The IRA dismantles its arsenal. I do remember that one. It was so frickin huge and these children don't even know what the IRA was.

- The Anthrax letters: they do not know Anthrax as a powder or as a band

- Wikipedia is created and we all lose our minds and then our professors edit the articles to be all fuckshit trying to catch us cheating

- Napster had to shut down THANKS, METALLICA
but they got better

- The iPod??? These kids are younger than ipods???

- THEY'RE FUCKING YOUNGER THAN HARRY POTTER. THEY'RE YOUNGER THAN THE FIRST HARRY POTTER MOVIE. I GIVE UP. FUCK THEM KIDS.

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